Why I Love Being Sober: The Journey to My Truest Self
Two years ago, I stood at a crossroads. One path was worn, familiar, and etched with the footsteps of old habits that created pain, suffering, self-sabotage, and regret. The other path was less traveled, uncertain, scary and yet, promising a climb towards the light of self-discovery. That day, I chose the road less traveled; I chose sobriety. And today, I’m here to tell you why I love this journey.
(Simon and I drinking a fancy lemonade at a wedding in Greece)
Stepping Back in Time
Reflecting on the past isn’t always easy, especially when it’s littered with regrets—a mosaic of moments I wish I could erase. Each piece, a stark reminder of actions taken and decisions made under the heavy veil of alcohol.
My college years and the vibrant chaos of my 20s were speckled with incidents that, at the time, seemed almost rites of passage, yet now I see them for what they truly were: cries for help and lost opportunities for true joy and connection. I’ve been in harrowing situations, from being drugged and molested, to diminishing my own worth in the eyes of strangers. I’ve acted recklessly, from swimming in unsafe waters, driving drunk and popping all four of my tires and losing all of my hubcaps to losing the hard-earned rewards of a night’s work. Each action, a step further from who I truly was.
I’ve hurt myself, both physically and emotionally. I’ve hurt others—those I loved and those who merely crossed my path at an inopportune moment. I’ve lost friends, money, and nearly lost the love of a significant other. I’ve been a source of worry, a creator of messes I couldn’t clean up, and I’ve said things that can never be taken back.
For years, I carried the weight of these actions, the ‘normalcy’ of a society that shrugged and labeled such things as ‘youthful indiscretions’. Yet, in my heart, I knew it wasn’t merely youth at play—it was the turmoil within, a storm of internal dialogues that pushed me towards self-destruction. Alcohol was the mask I wore to blend into a crowd that didn’t see the pain behind my forced smile.
“Alcohol was the mask I wore to blend into a crowd that didn’t see the pain behind my forced smile.”
– Brittany
The Truth
The truth is, the hangovers weren’t just physical—they were emotional and spiritual. I grew accustomed to the hollow feeling of shame, the echo of regret. Avoidance became a defense mechanism, a way to not confront the consequences of my actions or face those I had wronged.
But that’s not who I was before alcohol clouded my judgment, before it became the architect of my decisions. I lost myself to a habit that promised escape but instead imprisoned me within walls of my own making. It’s been a journey of rediscovery, peeling back the layers of that persona to find the person I was before—the person I am meant to be.
Looking back, I recognize a painful truth—I was running from myself. With every sip of alcohol, it was as though I cast a spell to numb the heartache, to disguise my authentic emotions, and to sidestep life’s challenges. In my 30s, especially amidst the turmoil of my divorce, I revisited old habits, using alcohol as a crutch to endure the profound sense of loss and to clutch desperately at the life I knew, resisting the inevitable tide of change. I donned a mask of normalcy, convincing myself and others that everything was under control.
Today, As I Celebrate 2 Years Sober
Now, with clarity and sobriety, I look at those times with a different lens—not to dwell on them with self-pity, but to understand the depth of their impact and to learn. Every step I take now is a conscious one, away from the shadow of my former self, towards a life of authenticity and inner peace.
With a heart brimming with appreciation, I honor my husband, Simon. His steadfast presence became my rock, his wisdom a guiding light back to my true self. He gifted me with the permission to be vulnerable, to acknowledge it’s perfectly acceptable to traverse through the valleys of not feeling alright. He assured me that confronting and processing my struggles without seeking refuge in external vices would unlock my innermost strength.
He was absolutely right. Simon’s unwavering support helped me realize that healing doesn’t require concealment or escape—it requires courage, and that courage has become my superpower.
Sobriety Became My Super Power
Lessons Learned:
1. Unshackling Creativity
One of the most immediate changes I noticed was the resurgence of my creativity. Alcohol, I realized, had been a dam to the free-flowing river of my imagination. Without it, ideas began to bubble up like a spring of fresh water. I discovered that alcohol had put a three-day hold on our creative genius even after one drink. Sobriety, on the other hand, keeps my mind clear and my ideas vibrant.
Just think of that! If we drink 2 drinks a week, we pinch off our ability to think outside the box, come up with solutions and create our dreams for a whole week!!
2. Deepening Connections
There’s a common belief that alcohol is the glue to social interactions, but I found the opposite to be true. Sobriety brought me a newfound depth in my relationships. Connecting with people heart-to-heart, with my full presence, has led to genuine connections that a night of drinking could never forge. I’m now fully there for every laugh, every tear, and every story shared.
I may have a smaller net of friends, but the friends I do have no will show up for me. Will always say yes to a request if they can do so. They are genuine deep connections, that promote change, growth and self discovery.
3. Discovering Pure Joy
Another revelation was about myself—I am fun. Fun wasn’t in the glass; it was within me all along. Dancing became a freer expression of joy, lasting longer into the night, untethered from the need for liquid courage. The joy I experience now is pure, uninhibited, and absolutely mine.
Self confidence of my fun loving self is also damn sexy.
4. Redefining Relaxation
I once believed that alcohol was the key to relaxation. In reality, it was a shortcut to depression. Now, relaxation comes from a place of peace within me. Through meditation, mindfulness, and self-care, I’ve learned to ease my mind without side effects. This calm is lasting and uplifting, not transient and deceptive.
Fact: one glass will increase your dopamine for 20 minutes but cause depression blues and sadness for 3 hours!!
5. Embracing Individuality
Peer pressure isn’t just for teenagers. As adults, we’re also susceptible to the “everyone’s doing it” mentality. We have so much fear of not being accepted or liked that we will do what it takes to fit in. This especially true if we have abandonment wounds.
Fact: when we feel like we are being rejected from society, groups, or even on social media. Our body releases stress chemicals, cortisol into our body preparing ourselves for death. This is because thousands of years ago we would die if left alone to fend for ourselves. We are programed to be in community. So, most of us would rather conform to society than experience a possible rejection.
Sobriety taught me to honor my individual needs and to be wary of societal norms that don’t serve my well-being. Choosing not to drink is a powerful statement of self-respect.
6. The Gift of Wellness
Prioritizing my mental health and wellness has been my life’s greatest gift. It’s an act of self-love that ripples into every aspect of my existence, touching not just me but those around me. Wellness is holistic—it’s physical, emotional, and spiritual—and sobriety is its cornerstone.
We are not able to heal ourselves in any dimension of the body when we don’t have full access to our God Source. When our heads are cloudy, gut in turmoil and emotions are low we get lost in the fog to finding our way to wellness. We get stuck.
7. Breaking Generational Chains
Perhaps the most profound aspect of my sobriety is the breaking of generational chains. Addiction had woven its way through my family history, causing untold suffering. Being sober not only changes my life but also alters the fabric of my family’s narrative. It’s an empowering stand against a cycle that ends with me.
In sharing my journey, I don’t preach sobriety as the only path to fulfillment. Yet, for those who feel the whisper of change, know that it’s a path worth exploring. Through the highs and lows, I’ve emerged stronger, wiser, and more connected to my essence. And that’s why I love being sober.
With Love,
xo, Brittany
P.S. Want more support in your healing journey? Here is a free meditation to ground yourself when you don’t feel well >> GIFT 💝
Learn the best practices and tips to create a mini sanctuary anywhere in your home and how to set up a meditation space just for you so that you can feel supported and connected to your soul.
