I was trail running in the midsts of the Redwood trees and I realized. This wasn’t an option, it was a calling. An unshakable feeling down to the very last cell in my body that I had to share my passion for helping woman who suffer the pain of self disgust and who are feeling stuck in the endless dark void. I had no idea, in that moment, that my life would change forever. Or even more shockingly, just how much it would change…

Let’s go back..

It was 2016 and my husband (now former – I have upgraded since then) was leaving me for another woman and I found myself at home with my two young boys, 4 years old and 11 months old, trying to cope with the loss of a 13 year relationship and 8 year marriage. I had sunk into an endless dark void of despair, self blame, and shame.

I remember my gut and my heart speaking to me that love was the answer to the problem. I gripped onto this thought as a way to win him back, but that did not happen. Instead, now I know that because I focused love and compassion towards him I was then able to have love and compassion with myself.

I found for the first time in a long time, asking myself what do I want. I began to make myself the priority. Taking care of my pain, hurt, grief, spinning and reeling thoughts with self care eroded away the despair. There were days that I didn’t want to try. I wanted to stay in bed and self loath, however on those days I saw that I did not have the mental or emotional capacity to take care of my children, so in order to take care of them – I needed to be selfish and focus my attention on the direction of wellbeing.

What practices changed my view on my life:

I became like a moth, attracted to techniques that soothed and helped me with my BIG AF feelings.

1. Therapy – I got a therapist to talk all my feelings out to, not a friend or family member. They have way too many biases or emotional attachment and usually gave awful advice.
2. Writing – I started journaling every single morning and sometimes again at night. In the beginning it was to purge my thoughts so I could start my day feeling empowered. It then became a habit to release what I was thinking and feeling.
3. Breath Work – I went to a breath workshop and learned Kriya Pranayamas. Focusing on my breath and learning how to control my minds tendency to be emotionally abusive and shaming was a relief .
4. Meditation – I meditated every day and used a night meditation to calm my body and to connect to what emotions were teaching me.
5. Movement – I ran a lot in the Redwoods. Started a daily yoga practice. Doubled down on my trapeze classes and started dancing. Moving my body got me unstuck and helped me break apart the thoughts and beliefs that were hindering me. Moving also reminded me of of all the things I love in my life.

All five of these techniques are still techniques I used today. If I miss them, I become a very cranky dragon.

(At that time in my life I still didn’t see that my alcohol use and food choices were causing havoc to my whole self, the mind body and soul, but that realization came 5 years later. One step at a time.)

The Ah-ha in the Redwoods

So, as I am running on the soft pine needle path of the redwood grove, this unshakable feeling vibrated through my entire being. I knew that this moment of my transformation was the beginning of helping others. I didn’t know how, when, what or even where, but I knew I was never going to be the same. I was going to not just have a relationship change, status change, but as if someone changed the direction on a train track I was heading into an unknown that excited me.

Almost a year later, I found myself drawn to a book, “Mary Magdalene Beckons: Join the River of Love” by Mercedes Kirkel. While reading this book, that same vibration of certainty resonated through my body and I quickly enrolled myself into her spiritual acension program. Which led me onto a 3 year soul alignment journey.

The Life I Didn’t Plan – The Upgrade

The clarity of “the how and what” I would teach has come in waves in the last 7 years, as I have fallen and risen like the phoenix through a couple more dark nights, shedding everything that has blocked me from my full potential.

That has led me to where I am with you now.

My ex-husbands affair, lead me to you. This tragedy, what I deemed a failure on my part as a wife and mother was essential to the rebirth of me and to to living my full potential.

Gratitude for The “Other Woman”

I began to see that this “other” woman came into my world to set me free. She opened a door for me to walk through and see that I she was and still in a great gift in my life. My for gratitude for her gift to me is boundless.

The Divine had a different path for me. One that is so much better than what I could have dreamed of.

Now, I am on a mission to help women who are silently suffering the pain of self disgust, who feel alone in an endless dark void, but look like everything is great on the outside. By bringing light to the shameful spaces, I teach women how to heal and guide themselves out of the darkness.

This upgrade transformed me from an Interior Designer into a Quantum Energy Practitioner, Crystal Energy Healer, Yoga Instructor, Mindset Coach and Spiritual Teacher. I am the happiest when sharing, coaching and teaching others how to raise their mental, physical and spiritual vibration into a higher frequency so that they can have and lead the life they do want. And more importantly, so that they can not only sustain the feeling of joy, but know how to get back to joy when they begin to slip back into the dark void.

I share a part of my story with you to shed light on the gifts in your life that may look like tragedies. The Universe has a beautiful plan for you and I promise that it will unfold into its full beauty. The trick is to let go of the grip of “your plan”.

Love, Brittany